Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain

 

NEW! JUST RELEASED!

Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.

Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 7, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogHope Sinks
“To be a Mariners fan is to have the hope beaten out of you.” – Larry Stone, Seattle Times

Dead Ends
“95% of all police work is searching in the wrong place. You have to learn to love the other 95%. Otherwise you’ll go mad.” –The Leopard by Jo Norsi

Quit Your Stupid End Zone Dances
“Experience equals ‘I’ve been there before.’” – Unknown

Never Saw It Coming
“Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.” – Unknown

Just Tellin’ You
“That may not be what you said. But that’s what I heard.”Unknown

Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of March 31, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogWhy the Kids Won’t Let Their Kids Drive with Grandpa
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather – who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” – Unknown

Pretty Sure
“Act 100% certain when you feel only 51% right.” – Northern Exposure

Balk
“All pitchers have the capacity; not all have the determination.” – H.A. Dorfman

Hands-On
“I say touch can be learned. I don’t say touch can be taught. The way you learn touch is by practice. There is no other way.” – Harvey Penick, legendary golf instructor

Outta My Way!
“Nobody stops you if you’re going 90 m.p.h.” – Joe Scarborough

Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of March 24, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogAdding Insult to Insult
“If someone begins a sentence with ‘don’t take this the wrong way but …’ they are apologizing in advance for you taking it the way it was intended.” – Cal FitzSimmons

Alex, “What are Things You Can’t See?”
“How do you know there is wind? Gravity? God? You look for the effects.” – Gregory House, M.D.

Exactly!
“Say it concisely and precisely.” – Captain “Sully” Sullenberger

The End
“Hope is the last thing that dies in man.” – Francis de La Rochefoucauld

Preaching to the Choir
“Focus, like sanity, sometimes just seems to come and go.” – Mark Bergren

Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of March 17, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogHold Me Back!
“Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces, and then eat just one of the pieces.” – Judith Viorst

Hint, Hint
“A hint is the hardest kind of request to decode and the easiest to refuse.” – Malcolm Gladwell

Not Good Enough
“People settle. They don’t plan to fail, but they don’t work and sacrifice to succeed. They just settle.” – Unknown

Eureka!
“Inspiration: the momentary cessation of stupidity.” – The Unit

I Think So
“Is that what you know – or what you believe?” – House, M.D.