“As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” – Flight attendant
“It seems ironic that all the people who hate the rich are the ones that are in line buying lottery tickets.” – Unknown
Old McDonald Had a Farm…Ewwww!
“Notice: This Property Is A Farm. Farms have animals. Animals make funny sounds, smell bad, and have sex outdoors. Unless you can tolerate noise, odors, and outdoor sex, don’t buy property next to a farm.” – Sign posted on farmer’s fence
“Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy.” – Sign in sorority