The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – April 21, 2014

CoverGet a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

It’s free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com

puddle jumper, n. In aviation, a two seat wide, twenty row, fixed winged aircraft that barely clears the treetops at the end of the runway. Frequent flyers to small towns find this is a great way to remove any bowel obstructions.
“We would like all passengers at the back of the plane to please move forward to the front seats to help distribute the weight of the plane for a safer takeoff.” – Flight attendant on Trans-Texas Airways (a.k.a. Tree Top Airlines) to Air Force recruits flying out of Dallas Love Field (1968) on way to basic training in San Antonio; instructions had to be repeated at stopovers in Waco and Austin after picking up more recruits*

brain dead, n. The second organ pronounced dead after the numb butt from sitting in an all-day budget meeting.

investment, n. Slot machines are the most honest investments: you understand how they work, you know they’re rigged, and you understand you’ll lose more than you win. But with slot machines you still have hope.
“Why would you invest with a Wall Street broker who rides the subway to work?” – Warren Buffett

key man insurance, n. Insurance taken out by partners on partners to protect their business in case of the other’s death. Partners then begin discreet Google search for “made” men from Kansas City.

no solicitors, n. Sign on office doors warning salespeople not to enter or suffer the consequences. The last thing you remember seeing when waking up in the emergency room.

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.

Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain

 

NEW! JUST RELEASED!

Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.

Don’t Try to Find New Customers

An early model wall mounted telephone, in the ...

Salespeople who set a goal to find ten new customers this month are setting land mines and then stepping on them. Ten new customers is a result. Results can’t be controlled.

Instead set activity goals. Set a goal to send twenty-five emails to existing customers asking for referrals this month; go to two networking functions this month; send ten tweets to drive people to your website each week.

Then, use the Paradox of Cold Calling: instead of calling to find new customers, call to eliminate prospects. Get them off your list, get them out of your life – get them outta here. Don’t know about you, but I can get rejected 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50 times a day without breaking a sweat.

But the funny thing is…as I’m calling to eliminate prospects, I’m taking the exact activities it takes to find new customers.

When Do You Finally Give Up Calling On a Prospect?

frontConsider this:

  • 44% of salespeople stop calling on the prospect after one call.
  • 22% stop after the second call.
  • 14% after the third call.
  • 12% after the fourth call.
  • Thus, 92% of salespeople stop after four calls.

Combine that information with this:

  • 15% of the prospects can make a decision within 1-2 calls.
  • 15% within 2-3 calls.
  • 35% within 4-5 calls.
  • 35% within 5-7 calls.

Notice that 70% of the people you call on will not even make a decision until you get beyond that fourth call.  If there is a magic number, it would be five.

But as long as a prospect is using a service or product I sell, I never stop calling. The reason: things change. Decision makers come and go, money comes and goes, needs come and go, and competitors come and go.
                                               

This information is from my book, Cold Calling for Cowards: How to Turn the Fear of Rejection into Opportunities, Sales, and Money available in ebook or paperback

How to Get Out of An Embarrassing Predicament

Embarrassed

We’ve all done it. Called someone by the wrong name. Slipped and fell on the ice when entering the building. Lost our train of thought when talking with a customer.

What do you do in an embarrassing situation? You can pretend it never happened and take no responsibility for it. Psychologists have found observers expressed dislike for the individual who does this.

You can confidently try to remedy the situation. Observers are unfavorable to anyone who maintains their aura of self-confidence.

Or you can express your embarrassment and try to fix the situation. Observers best like those who show their embarrassment and find those people endearing. They’ve seen themselves in similar situations and feel the pain.

When it happens, use embarrassment to your advantage. Maybe get a laugh out of it. People will see you as vulnerable and human and quickly bond with you.