Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain



Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.

How Your Employees Are Unselling You

Nice Reception people at DICE in Stockholm

It’s tough enough in sales to find and sell to new customers. It’s even tougher when your biggest competitor is your own company. Most employees think it’s only the salespeople who sell.

Little do they realize that they, too, are exhibiting sales skills every time they have contact with customers.

The sale starts with the gatekeeper. What’s the attitude when the phone is answered? Do the words and attitude match? Does she mean it when she says, “How can I help?”, or does she convey, “You’re bothering me. What do you want?”

When a customer comes in with a service problem, does the service person feel he’s being imposed upon? “You’re a pain” is often the message customers receive.

Billing problem? I’ve seen hundreds of accounts lost because the billing department was indifferent, rude, or downright obnoxious.

Selling is tough. Don’t make it impossible. Quit competing against yourself.

How to Get Out of An Embarrassing Predicament


We’ve all done it. Called someone by the wrong name. Slipped and fell on the ice when entering the building. Lost our train of thought when talking with a customer.

What do you do in an embarrassing situation? You can pretend it never happened and take no responsibility for it. Psychologists have found observers expressed dislike for the individual who does this.

You can confidently try to remedy the situation. Observers are unfavorable to anyone who maintains their aura of self-confidence.

Or you can express your embarrassment and try to fix the situation. Observers best like those who show their embarrassment and find those people endearing. They’ve seen themselves in similar situations and feel the pain.

When it happens, use embarrassment to your advantage. Maybe get a laugh out of it. People will see you as vulnerable and human and quickly bond with you.

Quit Making Me Chase You So I Can Give You My Money!

Pharmacy Rx symbol

Ever been to a Disney theme park? Did you notice how easy they make it for you to spend your money? Why can’t other companies learn from them? Too many make it almost impossible for you to give them your money.

Some tell you something can’t be done (because it’s too much of an effort on their part). Customer service treats you rudely or leaves you on life-ending hold. The service department avoids you like the plague. What a nuisance you are. Can’t you just leave us alone?

Ever go to the pharmacy to drop off a prescription only to meet the staff leaving for lunch. “Check back in 30-minutes,” they mutter over their shoulders as they beat a path to the exit, never looking back.

Hey, I just want to buy something from you. Aren’t we in a recession? Does your boss know what you’re doing?

TwitterIED: Anyone in your company who has contact with your customers will sell or unsell your company. Not only might you lose a customer for life, but you will lose referrals they can be giving you. It only takes customers seconds to send a tweet to reach hundreds.

The Ritz-Carlton, the Banquet Captain, and a Garbage Dump

The Ritz Carlton logo at the former Hong Kong ...

John, our banquet captain at all our seminars at the St. Louis Ritz-Carlton for eight years, was the King of the Garbage Dump. He’s the Rolls-Royce of customer service.

A guest accidentally threw away some very valuable papers during his stay. In a panic the guest called down to the front desk. The front desk called John in on his day off. John discovered the dumpster had already been emptied. He headed straight for the dump.

After digging through the foul smelling garbage, John found and retrieved the guest’s papers. Soiled but salvageable.

John was too modest to tell me his story. I found out through the catering manager. John also didn’t tell me one more thing the manager shared. That year at the garbage dump earned John the recognition as the number one best service provider of all the Ritz-Carlton’s throughout the world!

Can your service compare?

Puttin’ on the Ritz: Customer service not only helps to sell you and your services, it’s one of your greatest assets for customer retention and referrals. And the stories they’ll tell!