Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain



Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.


The Naked Cowboy of Times Square

The following is an excerpt from Selling Doesn’t Always Have to Be a Struggle – 45 ways to put the fun back into selling:

The focus of your marketing is to surprise with the unexpected so your message won’t be ignored.

Returning to our hotel in the middle of Times Square we saw a crowd gathered at the corner across from the kiosk’s neon sign proclaiming “New York Police”. We heard the laughter. Crowd? Laughter? People having fun? Times Square? July? Must be something special.

We inched our way to the front of the gawkers. Playing his guitar and wearing just his hat, boots, and BVD’s we met the Naked Cowboy of Times Square. His singing sucked, and I don’t think he knew a chord on his guitar. But his open guitar case was producing money faster than the U.S. Mint. A minimalist who knows how to market.

Marketing is about getting remembered. New York City. Population nine million. I remember one.

What are you doing to surprise others so you’ll be the one?

To learn more and to order your book today, visit www.FootInTheDoor.com.

David Letterman Cuts Schick Razor


When Schick came out with their four-blade razor, David Letterman raved about how close the shave was and how much he loved their new product on The Late Show.

This went on for a couple of weeks. Letterman was absolutely in love with his Schick razor and mentioned it time and time again during his monologue or when sitting behind his desk.

Finally, getting no response from Schick – not even a “thank you for mentioning us” – Letterman tore into the company.

“Geez,” he said, “you’d think after all the free publicity and personal endorsements I’ve given to Schick they would at least have acknowledged it.” True, his public statements must have amounted to thousands of dollars of free advertising. Not to mention the more important personal endorsement from the late night host.

After his last rant, the Schick marketing department responded.

“Are you kidding me!?” Letterman said. Holding up two new Schick razors, he went on. “Two lousy, stinking razors? That’s what they send me for all the free publicity I’ve given them? People would kill to have their products mentioned repeatedly before millions of people. Yet, all they can do is send me two stinking razors? What? One is for Paul (bandleader Paul Shaffer) and one for me? That’s big of them. They could have at least sent one for every audience member!”

The next day the marketing department sent the Late Show boxes of new razors for Letterman to disperse to his audience.

“Too late,” Letterman said. “I gave you a chance. You better wake someone up in your marketing department and learn how to do a better job.”

Too close for comfort: People may love your product. But if you tick them off, not only will you lose their business, but the business of their friends they’ll tell in their social networks.  

Close Your Mouth – You’re Drooling

French Fries

Marketing is about creating the hunger. It’s 11 a.m. Another hour before lunch. Your co-worker comes in with his burger, fries, and chocolate shake and sits down at his desk across from you. The smell of the burger and fries grab your nose. Your friend laughs as he talks with his cubicle partner, popping another fry into his mouth and licking the salt from his lips.

You ask where he got the burger. “At Tastee Freeze. Man, they make the best fries and shakes I’ve ever had. And the burgers are like my mom made me as a kid: thin patty, sautéed onions, and a greasy bun. This is heaven.”

It’s 11:03. Watch out Freeze, here you come! Let’s eat!

I’m lovin’ it: Marketing is about creating hunger when there is no hunger. Getting others to testify for you creates instant trust that can’t be bought.