Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain



Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.

Don’t Try to Find New Customers

An early model wall mounted telephone, in the ...

Salespeople who set a goal to find ten new customers this month are setting land mines and then stepping on them. Ten new customers is a result. Results can’t be controlled.

Instead set activity goals. Set a goal to send twenty-five emails to existing customers asking for referrals this month; go to two networking functions this month; send ten tweets to drive people to your website each week.

Then, use the Paradox of Cold Calling: instead of calling to find new customers, call to eliminate prospects. Get them off your list, get them out of your life – get them outta here. Don’t know about you, but I can get rejected 10, 20, 30, 40, or 50 times a day without breaking a sweat.

But the funny thing is…as I’m calling to eliminate prospects, I’m taking the exact activities it takes to find new customers.

David Letterman Cuts Schick Razor


When Schick came out with their four-blade razor, David Letterman raved about how close the shave was and how much he loved their new product on The Late Show.

This went on for a couple of weeks. Letterman was absolutely in love with his Schick razor and mentioned it time and time again during his monologue or when sitting behind his desk.

Finally, getting no response from Schick – not even a “thank you for mentioning us” – Letterman tore into the company.

“Geez,” he said, “you’d think after all the free publicity and personal endorsements I’ve given to Schick they would at least have acknowledged it.” True, his public statements must have amounted to thousands of dollars of free advertising. Not to mention the more important personal endorsement from the late night host.

After his last rant, the Schick marketing department responded.

“Are you kidding me!?” Letterman said. Holding up two new Schick razors, he went on. “Two lousy, stinking razors? That’s what they send me for all the free publicity I’ve given them? People would kill to have their products mentioned repeatedly before millions of people. Yet, all they can do is send me two stinking razors? What? One is for Paul (bandleader Paul Shaffer) and one for me? That’s big of them. They could have at least sent one for every audience member!”

The next day the marketing department sent the Late Show boxes of new razors for Letterman to disperse to his audience.

“Too late,” Letterman said. “I gave you a chance. You better wake someone up in your marketing department and learn how to do a better job.”

Too close for comfort: People may love your product. But if you tick them off, not only will you lose their business, but the business of their friends they’ll tell in their social networks.