Quick Quirky Quotes™ for Week of April 14, 2014

Clown clear 4 for blogSobriety Test
“If you’re the designated driver, have fun with it. At the end of the night drop the people off at the wrong houses.” – Jeff Foxworthy

Keep Failing Until You Get It Right
“How do you get started in this business?” they ask.
“You go out and you fail.” – Stephen Colbert when comedians ask how they can break into the business

Choose One
“You have three choices in life: be good, get good, or give up.” – Gregory House, “House M.D.”

Plugging Away
“You never master anything. You just keep working at it.” – Denzel Washington to David Letterman on his hobby of boxing

Political Advisor
“I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.” – Mark Twain



Icon Cover - AE - Red Ribbon 6Get a FREE copy (PDF abridged edition) of my new book The Wickedly Fun Dictionary of Business – Words That Escaped Me Before My Brain Finished Downloading. It’s quick. It’s quirky. It’s fun!

Download it free at http://www.FootInTheDoor.com.

Here’s a quick peek:

butt-dial, v. Smart ass.

consciously incompetent, adj. The second lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you know it. Why the Dummies and Idiots books are so popular.

kiss off, v.t. The subject line on your email from your last job interview.

texting, v. Wrds wtht vwls. (Why texting isn’t big in Hawaii.)
“Dear Students: I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles. Sincerely, Your Teacher.” – Sign posted in high school class

unconsciously incompetent, n. The lowest level of competence. You’re stupid and you don’t know it. It’s when someone asks you to name the ten Supreme Court Justices and you actually come up with ten names.

unintended consequences. Didn’t see that coming! Your mind leaving you thoughtless and alone without telling you it was going.
“Oops!” – Embarrassed presidential contender, and Texas Governor, Rick Perry with his 53-second brain freeze unable to remember one of the three federal departments he wanted to abolish in a nationally televised GOP debate

Attention business owners, sales managers, salespeople, and marketing executives: at the back of the book you’ll see a referral strategy to find new business if you’d rather not cold call.


Bite Me!

Selling Doesn't Always Have to Be a Struggle copyThe authors of Improvise This! think you may not be having enough fun at work. They have a few suggestions.

  1. Wear a tool belt around the office. Don’t say anything about it.
  2. Do impressions of customers, coworkers, and vendors.
  3. Remove all magazines from your customer and employee lounge areas. Replace them with baskets of toys, Legos, Mr. Potato Head, Rubik’s Cube, and Magic 8 Ball. (Bonus: put in a nanny cam and provide hours of fun at your next company party.)
  4. Have a complaint box for all employees. However, all complaints must be submitted in the form of a limerick.
  5. The next time corporate sends down a mind-numbing policy statement, send a cookie bouquet with the note “Bite Me!”


This article is from my ebook, Selling Doesn’t Always Have to Be A Struggle – 45 Ways to Put the Fun Back Into Selling, available at Amazon, the Apple Store, and Barnes & Noble.

Make It Up As You Go

Sales, cold calling, and networking are more about attitude than answers. And what stops us is not that we don’t have the answers, it’s that we don’t get started. We don’t cold call because we’re thinking, “I’ll screw up. What if he asks me a question I can’t answer? I’ll look stupid.” We don’t go to networking functions because “I don’t like small talk. I won’t know what to say.”

Trust me, when you get in front of the people, you’ll come through. You’ll improvise. If need be, you’ll make it up as you go. And that’s a great attitude to have before any venturing out.

Life is improvisation: The right attitude allows you to do the hardest thing – get started. The answers will come when the questions are asked. Problems will be solved once they’re presented.

Your Husband’s On the Phone

Trophy Wife Rehearsal : Jill and Rachael

Listen. This is a problem. Joseph Keefe (Improv Yourself) says the most critical skill improvisers must acquire is listening. Most people listen just long enough so they can say what they wanted to say in the first place.

Improvisers are taught to listen to understand, rather than to reply. Because improvisation is in the present moment, and because each improviser feeds off the other, they must not only understand the words being said, they must be aware of the others’ intentions and the context of the situation.

In one sketch, the audience tells the two actors the scene is that they’re standing on the porch talking after their first date. The third actor is told he’s the mom surprising them by opening the front door.

Daughter: “Oh, hi mom. Didn’t know you were there.”

Mom: “Honey, your husband’s on the phone.”

Yikes!: Sales is improvisation. Listen. Or you may be surprised.